Hidden Struggles: Loneliness, Trust, and Finding Community in Melbourne as International Students

⚠️ Content Warning: This episode includes discussions of mental health struggles, isolation, and burnout. Please listen with care.

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What does it really look like to be an international student in Melbourne? Beyond the curated social media posts and "day in the life" videos, what are the hidden struggles that students face every day?

In this episode of the Asian Mental Health Podcast, Asami sits down with Rachel Tan Mun En and Cheng Qien Vrede, two Malaysian international students and Student Changemakers participants, for an honest conversation about loneliness, financial pressure, broken trust, and the realities of building a life from scratch in Australia.

Rachel, a double degree student in education and music working three jobs, and Vrede, a final-year psychology student, share their raw experiences of what it's really like to navigate university life as an international student - from the small daily struggles that build up over time, to the moments of breaking down, to finding unexpected sources of strength like religion, community, and vulnerability.

Watch the episode below or find us on Spotify or Apple Podcasts!

🎧 You'll hear about:

✅ The gap between social media expectations and the reality of international student life in Melbourne
✅ Why international students often don't feel they have "permission to struggle"
✅ The hidden financial and emotional costs of studying abroad for Malaysian students
✅ How online university courses make it harder to build consistent friendships and community
✅ The experience of loneliness even when surrounded by people on campus
✅ Why religion and faith communities matter for international student wellbeing (and why mental health services need to talk about this)
✅ Practical strategies for supporting struggling peers and building trust
✅ The importance of vulnerability and consistency in creating meaningful connections

💡 Episode Highlights:

• The reality check: life as an international student is 1% "cupcakes and rainbows" and 99% learning to cook, clean, manage money, and take care of yourself alone
• How loneliness "creeps up on you very quietly" when you can't find people who click with you
• The cycle of no rest: working three jobs while doing a double degree and barely touching your violin for three months
• Why showing weakness feels dangerous in Asian communities - and how that stops students from seeking help
• The role of Christian faith and prayer in Rachel's mental health journey (and why mental health services in Australia need to engage with religion more openly)
• How to know when a peer needs help - and why asking "are you okay?" once isn't enough
• The impact of online learning on student mental health: "You made friends in high school because you saw them every day. In uni, it's just fleeting moments"
• Why "not wanting to burden people" actually robs them of the opportunity to care for you

🧠 Key Takeaways from Rachel and Vrede:

"International students probably don't feel like they have the permission to struggle. You're given everything already, so you shouldn't feel the way you do. But the thing is, you are struggling - that's real." - Vrede

"Sometimes it just feels like I'm draining myself from the inside - constantly pushing, constantly thinking, and never really getting to fully rest." - Rachel

"Feeling alone was not something I personally expected. But when you go a couple weeks not having family, not having friends... this loneliness creeps up on you very quietly." - Vrede

"Ready is not a feeling, it's a decision. When you're ready, it's the time where you make your own decision that I'm ready, I'm gonna go through this." - Rachel

"If you think about it, the embarrassment you feel if someone rejects your offer to help is so much lesser compared to if they really needed someone to ask that question and you just didn't ask." - Vrede

"By staying silent, we're kind of robbing people of the opportunity to be there for you. If they care about you, they want to be there for you when you need someone." - Vrede

"I think it's the consistency to show that person that I really care for you - asking if they're okay once isn't enough. But if you ask a few more times, and I can feel that you actually care, then I would try to open up myself." - Rachel

👤 About the Guests

Cheng Qien Vrede is a Malaysian international student completing his final year in psychology at Monash University Melbourne. After transferring from Monash Malaysia campus, Vrede has navigated the challenges of building a new life abroad while dealing with academic pressure, family situations, and periods of isolation. He is passionate about understanding what goes on beneath the surface and creating genuine connections with others. Vrede participated in the Student Changemakers peer leadership program in Semester 1, 2026.

Rachel Tan Mun En is a Malaysian international student pursuing a double degree in education and music (classical violin) at Monash University Melbourne. She began performing professionally at age 14 and has been teaching violin and piano for five years. Rachel is also a certified Yamaha Junior Music Course teacher. While balancing full-time studies with three part-time jobs as a performer and music teacher, she launched her first concert, DUALITY, in 2025. Her Christian faith plays a central role in her wellbeing and resilience. Rachel participated in the Student Changemakers peer leadership program in Semester 1, 2026.

🛠️ Resources Mentioned:

• Student Changemakers - Shapes and Sounds' peer leadership program for international students in Melbourne
• Asian Mental Health Practitioner List - Find culturally responsive mental health support
• Embrace Multicultural Mental Health - Supporting partner for Season 5
• Free mental health resource and guide for international students - HERE

🙌 Connect with Shapes and Sounds

• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Website

✨ If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, rate, and review the Asian Mental Health Podcast on your favourite podcast app - it really helps other international students find these conversations. Share this episode with your friends, especially if you know or are an international student. Word of mouth helps destigmatise mental health in Asian communities. 💛

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Do you work with international students? If so, you may be interested in learning more about the Student Changemakers program as well as downloading our project summary report HERE.

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The Asian Mental Health Podcast is a production from Shapes and Sounds, made on the stolen lands of the Wurundjeri Woi-wurrung people of the Kulin Nation. This show is hosted by Asami Koike and Marcus Lai and produced by Yeo Choong. This season is brought to you by Embrace Multicultural Mental Health. All thoughts and ideas you hear are independently ours and our guests.

Keywords: Malaysian international students Melbourne, Monash international students, international student loneliness, financial pressure students, working multiple jobs student, double degree mental health, religion and mental health, Christian faith wellbeing, online learning isolation, building friendships university, Malaysian students Australia, international student support Melbourne, Student Changemakers, Embrace Multicultural Mental Health