"I'm Crying, But I'm Crying in Melbourne": International Student Loneliness & Life Far From India

What does it really take to move across the world at 18, navigate a new city alone, and build a life from scratch? In this episode, Asami is joined by Divnoor Kaur, a Punjabi-Indian psychology graduate and early childhood diploma student who has been quietly determined to be part of Shapes and Sounds since 2023. It took three years, but we're so grateful that she made it here!

The conversation also features voice memos from Tina Liu, a bilingual psychologist at one of our Practice Partners, MindBodyHeart Psychology, and former international student herself, who reflects on the challenges she witnessed both as a student and as a practitioner working with migrants and international students every day.

Together, Asami, Divnoor, and Tina unpack what people get wrong about the international student experience: it's not just about managing study and a part-time job. It's about navigating racism you didn't expect, housing markets that weren't built for you, support services you didn't know existed, and a homesickness that only hits once you've left.

This is one for every international student, every person who loves one, and everyone who has ever felt like a fish discovering what water actually is.

Watch the episode below or find us on Spotify or Apple Podcasts!

🎧 You'll hear about:
✅ What people get wrong about international students and their emotional reality
✅ Racial slurs in the CBD two months after arriving in Melbourne
✅ Melbourne's housing crisis and how it hits international students hardest
✅ Mental health stigma in Indian communities and why "boys don't cry" sticks with you
✅ The WEIRD bias in mental health research and why culturally matched practitioners matter
✅ Peer mentorship programs, Bollywood clubs, and how to build a community from zero
✅ Sleep, eating well, and why loneliness sometimes wins over a good night's rest

💡 Episode Highlights:

• On what people miss about international students: "People think you'll find a part-time job, study at university, and that's it. They don't think about the emotional aspect. How do you feel when you're alone?"
• On racism two months in: "Someone gave out a racial slur to us and we felt a bit unwelcome. That comment really stayed with me for quite a while"
• On the housing catch-22: "Landlords give preference to people with rental history or full-time work. It's like applying for a graduate role when you need 10 years of experience"
• On mental health stigma: "People used to joke around, oh I have depression, I have anxiety, and they don't even know what that means exactly"
• On finding the right practitioner: "Even if I'm trying to find a GP, I might try to find someone Indian because they might know more about my routine. That understanding you might not get with other practitioners"
• On gratitude over rock bottom: "I'm crying, but I'm crying in Melbourne. I don't want to think of where I am as rock bottom. Not everyone gets to experience studying abroad"
• On reflecting to build confidence: "Reflecting back on all the challenges you had previously and how you overcame them gives you that strength within yourself: if I could get over that, I'm going to get over this"

🧠 Key Takeaways from Divnoor and Tina:

"You need a person who is more than just a tour guide. Someone who is also a friend trying to help you out." - Divnoor

"Minor things get amplified when you are on your own. We don't understand how much anxiety we carry from one little incident." - Divnoor

"You might be in love with the version of yourself in that city. That's why you get attached to it even more." - Divnoor

"It's not just about making friends. Volunteering can help improve your language skills and widen your connection and network." - Tina

"Pick your battles. Is it loneliness or is it a lack of sleep?" - Divnoor

"Reflect back on all your challenges and how you overcame them. Those little achievements do make you feel like you're going in the right direction." - Divnoor

👤 About the Guests

Divnoor Kaur is originally from Ludhiana, Punjab, India. She moved to Melbourne at 18 to study psychology at the University of Melbourne and is now completing a diploma in early childhood education. A passionate advocate for youth mental health, she was a peer mentor at UniMelb and a participant in the Shapes and Sounds Student Changemakers program. She has been trying to get involved with Shapes and Sounds since 2023. Three years later, she made it.

Tina Liu is a practicing psychologist at MindBodyHeart Psychology, a bilingual Mandarin and English private practice in Melbourne and a Shapes and Sounds practice partner. Originally from China, Tina completed undergraduate studies at Monash, a PhD at Deakin, and a masters in psychology at VU. She worked for years teaching in a university foundation program before transitioning to clinical practice, where she works primarily with Mandarin-speaking migrants and international students.

🔗 Find Tina Liu and other culturally responsive practitioners on our Asian Mental Health Practitioner list

🌐 Our Practice Partner, Mind Body Heart Psychology

🛠️ Resources Mentioned:

For International Students:

• University O-week: worth attending even if it feels pointless, it's where lasting connections are made
• Peer mentorship programs: check your university email for an invitation in first semester
• University counselling services: free, confidential, does not appear on academic transcripts
• University clubs and societies: join online first to lower the barrier of showing up

Key Concepts Discussed:

• WEIRD bias in mental health research (Western, Educated, Industrialised, Rich, Democratic) and why it matters for culturally matched care
• Foundation programs: one-year Year 12 equivalent pathways for international students entering Australian universities

Self-Care Practices Worth Knowing:

• Consistent sleep times can be more important than sleep length
• Learn a few basic meals early. It helps more than you'd expect
• Reflect on past challenges as evidence of your own resilience
• Save messages, feedback, and small wins somewhere you can return to them

🙌 Connect with Shapes and Sounds 

• ⁠Instagram⁠
• ⁠LinkedIn⁠
• ⁠Website⁠

🎁 Free Resource: Download ⁠"International Students and Mental Health" ⁠

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Do you work with international students? If so, you may be interested in learning more about the Student Changemakers program as well as downloading our project summary report HERE.

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✨ If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, rate, and review the Asian Mental Health Podcast on your favourite podcast app. Share this episode with someone who is an international student, or who loves one. Word of mouth is how we destigmatise mental health in Asian communities. 💛

The Asian Mental Health Podcast is a production from Shapes and Sounds, made on the stolen lands of the Wurundjeri Woi-wurrung people of the Kulin Nation. This show is hosted by Asami Koike and Marcus Lai and produced by Yeo Choong. This season is brought to you by Embrace Multicultural Mental Health. All thoughts and ideas you hear are independently ours and our guests.