Meet Asian Australian Counsellor: Devika Dey

We know that it's not always easy trying to work out which therapist we might like to work with: Because the decision isn't just about where they're located and when they're available, but there's a bit more of a human, relational element to the decision too.

So here at Shapes and Sounds, we want to help make that process just a little easier.

Every month, we'll be introducing a therapist from the Asian Australian Mental Health Practitioner List to help you gain a bit more insight into who you feel might be a good fit for you or someone that you know.

This month we're excited to connect you with Devika who is a counsellor and couples therapist offering services in Carlton and Bayswater. We hope you enjoy connecting with Devika below!

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1. What led you to choosing mental health as a career?

I came into the industry after working 15 years in the Business Banking and Wealth Management space, in that space I was constantly working with either business partners or life partners around money, and asset management. I only took on training as a Psychotherapist mainly for myself as I found that my education on relationships was woefully inadequate, I wasn't sure why, but I knew I was at a point where my family could not explain something for me and every single film industry that ends in "wood" had given me a pretty unrealistic frame of what relationships are.

Becoming a Psychotherapist and then taking on further training as a Couples therapist helped me complete the gaps. In short, what I have found is that most high performing and ambitious Asian families focus more on the academic and the socio-economic wellbeing rather than the relational wellbeing.

I have found that it is easier for me to quickly start working with couples again as a therapist, as this dynamic is something I had daily experience in in my early financial career. I really enjoy working with couples but have come to find the same sense of fulfillment in individual therapy work as well.

However, when I'm not banging on about this stuff I also choose to engage in activities which are generally better for my mental health, and help me actively practice the relational skills I have learned. You can usually find me doing either Qi Gong, hitting a Yoga mat, intently working on artistic endeavours, socialising, drinking too much tea and in general being as goofy as possible.

2. What is your unique cultural heritage?

Indian.

3. What are your areas of specialty and what kind of frameworks do you work from?

Betrayal/Infidelity, conflict and communication, grief and loss, divorce, sex & sexuality, parenting, life transitions.

I work with Gottmans, PACT, EFT for couples and often utilize sensor motor, polyvagal, attachment, ACT and Mindfulness based Therapies. I also love Asian philosophy and actively encourage my clients to explore elements of Eastern Philosophy fused into the couples therapy frame, but only if it suits them.

4. What kind of clients are you best able to support?

Frankly I work with anything if your love life is stressing you out please just reach out I'm pretty sure I can help. I've worked with Betrayal/Infidelity, conflict and communication, sex & sexuality, identity and parenting.

But I really love working with anyone who has experienced the classic Asian Tiger Parenting/Family system. Generally speaking Tiger families are focussed on amplifying agency and willpower in one direction, this is orientated towards academics, assets, and careers.

Most of my work is based on helping couples really meet conflict in their partnered relationships without feeling overwhelmed by it. Regulating their entire system, and learning what it means to co-regulate each other, and also move together as a cohesive, collaborative united front.

Which considering most of our ancestors came out of a Collective Cultures are highly desired attributes within our families and culture of origin. I feel that we as Asians deserve more loving relationships with our partners, and I'm here to help as many couples experience that.

5. If you could be your own therapist right now, what do you think you would say to yourself?

One of my personal goals is to be better as a human being. In order to achieve this I should be less hard on myself, speak and hold myself with more kindness, joy and compassion.

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Connect with Devika via our Asian Australian Mental Health Practitioner List HERE.

Alternatively, if you feel like Devika may be a good fit for someone that you know, be sure to forward this page on to them too. Let us continue to not only support ourselves but all those around us too!

If you require urgent assistance, please do not contact Devika or any of the practitioners on this list. Instead, please call emergency services on 000 or call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Shapes and Sounds does not recommend or endorse Devika or any of the practitioners listed on the Asian Australian Mental Health Practitioner List.

Please always consult your GP before making changes to your mental health care plan.